Flipping Professional Jealousy

One of the biggest challenges a leader faces is professional jealousy amongst staff or even within herself. But what if that leader can "flip" professional jealousy just like an investor flips houses? An investor buys the worst house on the best street because of its “bones” but sees an opportunity to “flip” that investment through focusing on the possibilities, not problems. What might that require of a leader seeing professional jealousy in a team? Think about it. What would that truly, deeply call upon from her? A vision of a better outcome, a better staff member, a better leader in the mirror, perhaps? Yes. Commitment to the value of such an undertaking? Without a doubt. How about an understanding of what’s behind the rough exterior of professional jealousy? Absolutely - you cannot fix a thing without a thorough understanding of the problem. Finally, might the ability to “flip” jealousy not also require an alternative perspective on jealousy, an ability to think the unthinkable about jealousy telling you a valuable tale instead of a disease to be feared, attacked or cut out? I say, without a doubt. Let me run with this some more.

Too many articles urge leaders to look at professional jealousy at arms length, as an organizational tumour in the workplace, one that must be rooted out and removed, destroyed, erased from corporate memory. The unfortunate side effect is two-fold: 1) there are real human assets wrapped up in professional jealousy and 2) whole-scale removal compromises the leader’s ability to deal with the source of professional jealousy. In other words, professional jealousy is a symptom that can be best addressed at its core. An unexpected benefit of doing so is that the disease may be cured without killing the patient. So, what might jealousy be telling you?

• Jealousy is insecurity - But insecurity in what: in the environment, in oneself, with your leadership? What exactly is contributing to this insecurity? In other words, what might you, as leader, own that is contributing to insecurity? You see, jealousy keeps us safe from being hurt. If I am insecure in my place within your staff and notice a new staff member on my team has more of your time as leader, I might protect myself from your rejection by developing jealousy towards that team member. You, as my leader would be well advised to know this. How do you create the conditions for me - and others on the team - to find and know my best place, in this work, in this environment? Security and belonging are basic human needs. Without them, we feel devalued as humans, not merely as staff, and our behaviour can go sideways as a means of protection. We all want to belong. Are you helping me find that sense of belonging? “Robert, this project really requires Carole’s hand at the lead of the stakeholder consultations while your strength is best applied to the research and planning of the overall project. I wanted to let you know before today’s meeting so you know exactly how I see you complimenting this project and the team as a whole. I fully trust we will have an airtight project plan with you leading the framing of how this will fit into our timeline.”

• Jealousy is a need not met - “Flipped” this means there is something the other person has that we think we need, especially when we are aware of jealousy in ourselves. Why is that? What need do we have that is not being met that is triggering jealousy? How do we check in on our own needs when we feel jealousy within us and get honest with what’s missing for us? Could we simply ask for that need: “Jennifer, I see that you consult Robert before me on many decisions … I’d like it if you’d ask me too.”

• Jealousy echoes a fear - what has this looked like in the past for the person? Have they been historically compared to others and found wanting by others? What is your best, non-judgmental thinking about the history this jealous staff member is playing out and how could you check in on that thinking? If leaders stretch themselves into understanding where a team member is coming from they can be more proactive with all team members in the future. “Carole, in the planning stage of this project, I see Robert’s skills applying most strongly. I realize that in the past, I haven’t explained the rationale for engaging him first and not you; and I think I have caused you grief as a result. I should have told you why and where I need your skills going forward. I’m trying to learn from our history and get better at leading this unit while engaging everyone. Please accept my apology for this. Where I really need you to take over the project is during the engagement and recommendations phase. That’s where you really add to things in a way no one else here can. Will that work for you?”

Try to hear what's being said through the noise! It’s a little too easy to say your staff member is “just” jealous. Jealousy is an emotion and wherever it plays out, it’s telling a large and loud tale. Understand the tale and you can understand the root of the jealousy. Like every good tale, it is vital that you, as the leader, follow the story back to the very beginning, imagine a different future and then collaborate with the individual and relevant supports to create the ideal conditions to grow that future. It is very rare that a professional actually seeks to remain stuck in a jealous state. But it is not so rare that a professional has gotten him or herself stuck in the story of jealousy such that he can no longer see he has the ability to rewrite the ending.
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Hearing the grain of truth from within a situation of professional jealousy is a challenging undertaking for leaders but crucial to improving employee engagement, teamwork, productivity and organizational climate and systems. Systems and structures within the organization were all witness to the rise of professional jealousy. Use every instance of professional jealousy as an opportunity to determine what, in the system or structure, created the ideal conditions for this emotion to spring forth and you will have an admirable chance of rooting out those conditions and creating new ones that encourage more fruitful behaviour, emotions and results.

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